| Rob Thurman’s Blog Timeshare: Cheap & Filthy [Part 6]



Rob Thurman’s Blog Timeshare: Cheap & Filthy [Part 6]

15 Aug 2011, Posted by Calvin F. Krueger in Appearances, Extras, Fun, News, Rob Thurman's Twitter, The Cal Leandros Novels, The Chimera Novels
Cal Leandros: Half Human. Half Monster. ALL Attitude!

Cal: “Time to get the hell out of here before I do shoot you,” I grumbled, dropped the purple stained apron to the floor, and grabbed my jacket. “I’m going home, apologizing to my brother, doing my and his laundry both and then I’m not leaving the apartment for six months. If it’s the only way to be sure I don’t end up half dying and then waitressing for a hundred days when I recover, then that’s what I’ll do.”

Was the Misha guy worried? Of course not, the bastard.

“I’ll be fine,” he dismissed. “Maybe I’ll build a personal force field, one that repels bullets, out-of-control trucks, and collapsing buildings. Any project that keeps me away from building a particle accelerator makes Stefan happy. He has a phobia about black holes. He’s such a technological baby.” Misha was staring at the tattoo that circled my arm. “But maybe you should stop at a tattoo parlor and get that fixed first before you go home.”

I eyed him suspiciously. “Why? It’s Latin for Brothers-in-arms. Niko and I are real brothers, but we’re brothers on the battlefield too, fighting monsters, facing death. Have all our lives.”

“Ah. That makes sense. Very Butch and Sundance of you. I like Butch and Sundance. Partners to the end.” He slung the strap of the messenger bag over his shoulder. “And I like Latin. A very sensible if dead language. And that is Latin on your tattoo, but it says Brothers in Each Other’s Arms. I’m surprised your brother didn’t mention that. You said he was smart. Maybe he didn’t want to embarrass you. Did you know there was once a fighting unit called the Sacred Band of Thebes made up of only gay couples, so they would fight harder as to not shame their honor in front of their lovers? I saw it on the History Channel. It said…”

“Shut up! Shut up about the damn History Channel. It does not say Brothers in Each Other’s Arms! I have not been walking around for year with Brothers in Each Other’s Arms tattooed on me! Niko knows Latin. Goodfellow knows Latin. One of them would’ve said something.”

Niko who locked me in here because I was annoying him to the point of psychosis. Goodfellow…Goodfellow who would’ve paid the tattoo guy just to get it wrong.

There was that Latin professor who had the office next to Niko’s at NYU. He was always patting me on the ass. Niko said he was aiming for a friendly pat on my back, but was legally blind and I should be more understanding of the handicapable…

Those sons of bitches!

I looked at Misha. “How would you like to see an entire bar full of monsters? Werewolves, vampires, revenants, peri, succubi?”

He grinned, Frankenteen believed in Santa Claus again. “Can we stop for a camera first? I’ll want more pictures than my Blackberry will hold. Oh, and what’s it cost? The monster tour?”

He was a smart kid, because nothing in life is free and revenge is best served with a lab created genetic mutant. My grin was considerably darker, pure evil.

“Let’s just see how much shrinking you can really do.”

The End (of Niko and Robin?)

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  • Gnine

    BAAHAHAHA, oh boys! Really, in the end, Niko and Stefan have only themselves to blame for ever putting those two in a room together. What HAVE they unleashed upon the world? Run, boys, RUN!

    Did so very much love this! I do so love x-overs, and these two together is rather fun. Would love to see the parallel conversation the elder brothers are having, bet that’d also be a hoot! Poor boys, they do have so much to commiserate about, ne? ^_-

  • Suz

    XD Good heavens, don’t let them out *together,* they’ll take over the world!

    Or at least conquer the bar for half an hour before Ishiah gets tired of them and deals out some flaming justice.

    I love how Cal is repentant and Misha is very not. That says a lot right their about who they are. And perhaps how much they really do love their brothers. >.>

    Fantastic fun snacky read! 😀 I love the exploration of character and the dynamic between Cal and Misha. Though I’m still dying for the seventh book of Cal’s. That tidbit in the back of “Basilisk” had me laughing out loud. I’m very amused that Cal is apparently agnostic, but he drops Biblical references everywhere. That series is extremely literary–it’s not just tasty popcorn fun, it’s *thinky* tasty popcorn fun! Because I eat your books like popcorn. >.> Gone to soon.

  • Mad_Bonnie

    Meanwhile at the Ninth Circle Niko and Stefan are on their sixth round of Wheatgrass Black Russians and breaking out into another chorus of “He’s Not Heavy, He’s My Brother.”

    Thanks for the fun read!

    • Rob Thurman

      Meanwhile Niko and Stefan are packing and fleeing the country. Little Brother Witness Protection Program. Running for their lives.

      • Natali

        This was amazingly awesome! I wish it could continue! You are the best author i have ever come across (and though only fourteen believe me I have come across quite a few). And can i just say my only encounters with Misha have been this and the preview of Basilisk, which prompted me to buy Chimera and put Basilisk on my birthday list because I cannot find it in any of the book stores. And a million readers you say? I love a challenge. I will now redouble my efforts to spread the wonders of your writing to my victims-I mean friends and family. My mother has already been converted, my friends and cousins are next >3

  • Chys

    This was absolutely fantastic.


    And didn’t Niko get a tattoo too? Or wait, didn’t his say something different? *Does not know other languages.*

    • Rob Thurman

      It’s in Blackout. Cal’s memories were almost returned, he was drunk, and he made Niko get a tattoo in ancient Aramaic (that Ishiah wrote for Cal on a bar napkin) so Niko would know why he wanted his memories back. Niko didn’t know what it meant until he was told at the end of the book. And now you’ll have to recheck Blackout to find out what it was. :>

  • xXLupaXx

    How absolutely fantastic. You always know how to leave us wanting more~!

  • Melankalia

    Poor Goodfellow….. I’d say “poor Niko” too, but I suspect that his ninja senses will allow him to dodge away from becoming Misha’s personal version of a shrinky dink (heh).

    Oh, and thank you so much for this. It was a thousand times better than I’d hoped, and as someone with a tendancy to absolutely devour your books (not literally, how could I re-read them?) I had pretty high expectations. 😀

  • Dawn C

    Aw, I wanted Misha to see the bar. Oh well, it was still fuckin’ awesome!

    • Rob Thurman

      Gotta finish another book to finish by Oct 1st. Have to write 3 a year to live and eat. Now if I could get a million more readers I could write nothing but Cal …one book a year and a story every month, but alas, that ain’t happening.

  • Peg

    Please, please, tell me that this is going to be included as an “extra” in Doubletake! Or that all of your short stories from all 3 series, including this one, are going to collected in an additional volume so I can buy them all! Please, please, please! This is the funniest and all around most intensely satisfying (ahem, in a totally healthy emotionally stable way, of course!) thing I have ever read in all my 60 years! And having been hooked on Auphe and Tricksters and Mafiya since the publication of Nightlife, that’s saying something, for real. Been reading sci-fi/fantasy since I was 9 (I’ll let you do the math!) and your work is the most refreshing genre-shaking thing since Harlan Ellison’s “Dangerous Visions”! Kudos to you, Ms Thurman! Here’s hoping the Reavers can keep you on the top where you belong!

    • Rob Thurman

      Top? Lord, I wish I was on top. I’m writing three books a year just to be able to eat. Sigh. And can’t be an extra in Doubletake. Cal and Trixa are in the same universe, but Cal and Misha are not. Misha lives in the real world where the only monsters are criminals, sociopaths, and genetic mutants. But if I every have an extra minute I might try to write a story and sell it on the website. But with 3 books a year, extra minutes are hard to find.

      • Peg

        Hey, we’re all working on that! Getting you your spot on the top of the heap where you belong! i’ve wondered for a long time if the people who created the criteria for book lists even realize that writers are people, not AI controlled word processors? As far as the real world monsters that Misha deals with, don’t forget politicians! I’ve always spelled politician with a capital M! 🙂 Stories for purchase on the website sounds like a great idea. I’d love to be able to buy all the short pieces you’ve done, from these three universes and any others you’ve created! I know that extra minutes are a rare thing because world-building is a hard job. But you do it extremely well! And all your Reavers will keep spreading the Word of Rob far and wide!

  • Cal's_Girl

    So good! And idk what Cal is complaining about, he LOVES purple! I’ll miss this!

  • Krys

    Awh, don’t end it! This was the best thing to happen to the internet. <3